The Ides of March: Caesar's Salad Days
Let's remember some of Julius Caesar's less well-known exploits this festive season
The Ides of March are upon us! Don’t forget to leave your daggers out for Brutus when you go to bed… or something. Well, while it’s not exactly Christmas, the Ides of March has become a popular moment in the Classics calendar, not least on CSMFHT - I’m well known for flooding social media with frankly too many memes. This year, perhaps, I’ll cut back… on here, however, let’s discuss some of the interesting and funny moments of his life that are less well known than the usual 'salad-stab-Shakespeare’ contingent!
Pirates and Booty
Caesar’s early life had no shortage of drama. Caught in the midst of the Marian and Sullan periods of brutal dictatorships, he was forced to flee Rome around the age of 18 and headed East. During this time, he went to Rhodes to study rhetoric but was captured by pirates along the way. The story we have was almost definitely Caesar’s version, so we cannot say how much was true, but it certainly is a fascinating one.
When Caesar and his retinue were captured, the pirates put out a ransom for his release of 20 talents (a significant amount of money). Caesar’s reaction was apparently to laugh at them and chide them for not knowing how valuable their captive was. He demanded they raise the ransom to 50 talents, and he sent out envoys to collect the money - and they did! During his 38 days captive, Caesar would apparently mock and insult his captors, order them around and even tell them he would come back and kill them when he was free.
And he did. Upon paying the ransom and gaining his freedom, Caesar immediately hired a private navy, attacked the pirates before they left, and captured a large number of them. He regained the ransom and a lot more booty as well. When the Roman governor of the province refused the death penalty - according to one translation of Plutarch, he “had eyes above all for the booty” - Caesar himself allegedly had them crucified. A swift and cruel stroke for the young future dictator, but you can imagine why the story gained such popularity.
He Built A Second Wall
Look, this one gets a lot of air time from me, but perhaps goes under-appreciated nonetheless. A lot can be said critically of Julius Caesar’s campaigns in Gaul, and a lot was said critically even back then. The mass slaughters of civilians and combatants alike were either played down by Caesar or played up by his opponents, but we know for sure that the conquest was bloody and brutal. One thing that cannot be denied was the absolute ballsy way in which he brought the entire Gallic rebellion to an end.
In 52 BC, Caesar was facing a determined and organised resistance to his plans to conquer Gaul (modern-day France), led by the Arverni chief Vercingetorix. Coming off the back of a failed assault at Gergovia and with supply difficulties, Caesar was eager to finish off the Gallic coalition once and for all. Vercingetorix retreated to the fortified hill of Alesia, and Caesar immediately began to lay siege, planning to starve them out. Caesar ordered the construction of a 16km siege wall around the town, complete with pits, spikes and a moat, an impressive feat of Roman engineering. But there was just one problem.
Vercingetorix had sent out word to his allies, calling for aid, and they were on their way. Faced with the huge difficulty of trying to fight off an auxiliary force while also surrounding a wall, Caesar did what only the mad lad himself could do: he built a second wall. Around himself! The outer wall protected his men from a frontal assault, while the inner one allowed them to keep the Gauls locked inside. Despite attempts to break through from both inside and out, Caesar’s siege was ultimately successful and led to the complete collapse and surrender of the Gallic coalition. Great news for Caesar, terrible news for Vercingetorix, who was taken back to Rome in chains and sacrificed in Caesar’s great military triumph. Another brutal end!
Playing Politics
Caesar’s meteoric rise to power did not come without assistance. His ascent up the Roman political ladder was never assured, and came at great financial and political cost - he made a few enemies that would certainly crop up again in his lifetime. When Caesar was finally elected (for the first time) to the Republic highest political office for the year of 59 BC, the Consulship, he had to share it with Marcus Calpurnius Bibulus. The two had been political rivals for their entire careers and it is safe to say that Caesar was not happy having to share the spotlight.
When Bibulus tried to block a bill that Caesar had introduced early in his term, it did not go well for him. Caesar’s supporters turned on him, knocked him down and apparently poured faeces on him! He was so embarrassed by this that he offered the crowd his neck to finish him off, but he was forced to turn up to work the next day - where he suffered further humiliation, and eventually he gave up on all public appearances during his term in office. The year was humorously referred to from that point as the ‘Consulship of Julius and Caesar’. Alas, poor Bibulus.
It was during this term that Caesar made his most famous political allies, now referred to as the First Triumvirate - Pompey and Crassus. Suetonius gives us an unlikely but humorous reason for this - that he was slighted by the Senate when they allotted the province he would govern after his Consulship was over. According to Suetonius, instead of putting him in charge of Gaul as he wanted, instead they only gave him the ‘woods and paths’ to look after, a political insult. Whether this was a real event or not, Caesar used his new power to gain command over the entire Gallic campaign which would become the cornerstone of his career. The breakdown of the Triumvirate would also bring about the great Civil War that hastened the end of the Republic….
Well that’s it for this year! Have a happy Ides of March and don’t forget the true spirit of the day - coming together in groups to stab dictators!